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Mormon Jeopardy

1 May

Mormon Jeopardy

I originally read this essay at Shelf Life Books’ Happy Endings reading series, which, if you live in Calgary, you should go to because it is the best.

I’ve tagged it as nonfiction. And while I’d never suggest it would hold up to any kind of journalistic standard, I would say it’s “true enough.” I changed the names of everyone but my girlfriend and myself.

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Le Grande Deception, or; That Time I Lied To My Best Friend For Ten Years About Pooping On His Van

7 Apr

Originally performed at Happy Endings, a Shelf Life Books reading series. Essay version below, for those who would not rather listen to my dumb voice.

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The ways I was scammed in Asia

9 Sep


Up until last Friday, I was traveling in Southeast Asia with my friend Donovan. We were backpacking, I guess, but I don’t think either of us are the type of fart-sommeliers who think that makes us Karouac and Burroughs. It was a vacation. And we had a great time, too. The food was great. The people were great. Even waking up at four AM because I ate Cambodian BBQ and Pho in a 24 hour period and open war broke out between them was great because at least that way I had some time to get back into my book. In other words, it was pretty typical of most trips to Asia.

Another way it was typical is that some of the locals looked at us like big, stupid sacks of money with legs. They were entirely right to do so.

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